I've been digging deep into the Book of Job. It's the place I go when I feel like I've lost everything--especially hope. When my faith feels weak, when I feel like I was doing everything I could to my best ability and yet things are dire. When I start to wonder if I did something wrong, if I'm being punished, when the "if's" just keep piling up until I'm smothered. It's during these vulnerable moments when I focus on myself and what I did or didn't do, that I remember Job. I remember however I'm feeling or whatever circumstance I'm dealing with doesn't define me.
Job’s story in the Bible shows us what it really means to endure through faith. Job was a faithful servant to God, never questioning. He had lived a good life. The enemy hated this and put Job to the test by taking away everything in his life to see if he would turn his back on God. Job never gave up. Is it possible for us to take a deeper look at Job’s life when we want to give up and shake our heads at God?
I know I should have. I always considered myself a Christian, but if I’m honest, my walk wasn’t a true faith walk. When I lost my job and marriage, I wondered where God was. When I was miserable and believed that nothing would ever make me happy, I feared I would always be stuck. When your spouse doesn’t put dishes in the sink, instead of doing it yourself, you may let them grow crusty and gross.
Your marriage can grow crusty and gross, too, when you live in fear that it won’t ever get better. And if you are getting divorced and can’t clean the crust from your past, you won’t be able to see through a clear glass. There will be times through your divorce or marital struggles that you want to look up at the ceiling or sky and cry out, “Why do you hate me, God?” I know that feeling because I had it. The audacity I had in that moment can only come from fear. Faith would dig deep and not give up. Faith would have meant looking up to the ceiling and asking God to come in and show me how to love my husband better, even when I didn’t feel like it. Faith would have believed in all the possibilities.
I was shouting at God in the living room—living in disgust—where a huge life-size mural from our wedding hung. Math and dimensions were never my things, so when I ordered it, I thought it would be a nice portrait from our dream day, but it was quite large. I always found a place to hang it, but after downsizing homes, life, and my love, I felt that picture was overpowering and looked out of place—just like my love was misplaced. I gave up on marriage, on love, and God.
Faith and Hope
Your heart starts racing when you are afraid. You feel uneasy, hot, and shaky. As your heart races, your mind can race, leaving you with the fight, flight, or freeze ordeal. If you fight back in marriage, you might not be able to make amends. If you freeze, you might not be able to get to the core of why you are hurting. If you flee, you will have to find a way forward that doesn’t include your spouse by your side. Fear thrusts you into those scenarios.
Faith is calming, even when you are not. Faith gives you a feeling of ease despite your circumstances. You don’t have to come up with a plan or mastermind some way out of what you are feeling. You can see how your spouse is feeling, even if you don’t understand. You can stay and talk when you would rather not. And if you get divorced, you can have faith that God will be there with you and that you will not be alone, even on the days when you feel like no one understands.
Faith when it comes to divorce is believing and knowing firmly that no matter the outcome, you will rise again. Maybe the day in court didn’t go as you planned. But God has something for you that is coming, regardless of what happens in court. Maybe your divorce is taking longer than you thought. Believe that God is working on you during that process, and when the time is right, whether it is a divorce or reconciliation, have faith that God will get you to where you are supposed to be.
I keep clinging back to that time of my divorce, where God came in and pulled me up with His wings and put me back on solid ground. Now when I'm feeling the questioning again, and the weight of "what if's" I remember how God has always been faithful and He will do it again.
Lessons from the Book of Job
One of the fundamental aspects of navigating through trials is the importance of faith and trust in God. When faced with challenges and difficulties, having a strong belief that God STILL provides solace, strength, and guidance. It is during these trying times that your faith is truly tested, and relying on God's wisdom and plan can offer a sense of peace amidst the storm.
Suffering is a universal human experience that often raises questions about its purpose and existence. We are not promised an easier life because we are Christians. Job was faithful and still lost everything--but he didn't lose hope. By delving into the concept of suffering, we can gain a deeper understanding and reliance on God. Bad things may happen to us because of what others do and not because of what we do, but God will still use this suffering for His glory and our good.
The story of Job is a great testimony in choosing to walk with God. Job was a wealthy man who had it all and lost everything—his riches, his family, his status. His friends came to comfort him once he had been stripped of everything. While they came in good meaning, they believed that Job had done something terribly wrong to have such awful things happen to him in his life. In Job’s case, that was not true—he didn’t have a massive hidden sin.
Instead of shunning God for his circumstance or getting angry with his friends, Job amazes us: “When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before!” (Job 42:10 NLT). Not only did God give back what Job had lost, but he also rewarded him a double portion. You, too, will inherit a great reward when you walk with Jesus. For some of us, we may not see it here on earth. While you are here for a short time, your eternal reward in heaven will be even greater if you do not lose hope while you are here, no matter what comes your way in relationships and life.
For more words of encouragement, buy my book Wings to Rise above Divorce.
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